Most of us learned about kidding and teasing at an early age. We teased and got teased. It just seemed to come naturally. We also learned early on that kidding can be fun and affirming for everyone, or hurtful for the one being teased. It can easily morph into merciless bullying. Kidding can be positive or negative. It is positive when everyone involved is enjoying it, when it becomes an indirect compliment, when it strengthens a relationship, bonding and bringing you closer, and when it is shared equally — no one person its object. It is positive when it is good-natured, enjoyed by all, an upper. It is negative when one is kidded about a disability, vulnerability, personal appearance such as weight, or perceived weakness or sensitivity, when it is a putdown instead of a compliment, or when it focuses on just one person. It is negative when the one being kidded is belittled or hurt, not enjoying the ride. So when we kid, let’s kid to strength, be sensitive to how it is received, and back off when it is no longer enjoyed. Let Psalm 19:14 be our test: May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer! In a word, let’s kid up!
“Magical” is a good word for the dynamics of kidding up rather than down, Brad. Kidding only about someone’s strengths and gifts (like intellect or a spiritual gift such as teaching or administration), and never EVER kidding about a weakness or area of shame: it’s a simple call that makes a huge difference.
This is the “Geigerism” that drove me to build the website. Every now and then I manage to kid someone in a way that actually builds them up. It’s always magical when that happens, and I ask myself, “What did I just do?” I want to gather examples of “kidding up” so I can train myself to build up rather than tear down with humor! So bring on the examples. Please!